Tag: parenting

हाम्री छोरी अंशु गत सोमबारदेखि स्कूल जान थालिन् । हामीले किन स्कूल जान चाहन्छौ भनेर सोध्दा, उनी भनिरहन्छिन्, “पढ्न जाने ।” स्कूल त पठाउँला तर खुसी हुन्छिन् कि हुँदैन भन्ने प्रश्न थियो । स्कूलमा रूँदै “आमा चाहियो । घर जाने ।” भन्ने हुन् कि भन्ने डर पनि थियो । यद्यपि, स्कूलमा उनको पहिलो हप्ताले हाम्रो केही शंकाहरू हटाइदियो ।

सिधै जानुहोस् …

पहिलो दिन

पहिलो दिन अंशु यति उत्साहित थिइन् कि उनी मामु (जसलाई उनी आमा भन्छिन्) वरिपरि दौडिन छोडिनन्। हामी बाबा (जसलाई उनी बुवा भन्छिन्) को पर्खाइमा थियौं। उनी भनिरहेकी थिइन्, “छिटो स्कूल जाऔँ न आमा! बुवा लाइ नपरखिने!” सम्झना होस् भनेर एउटा भए पनि तस्वीर खिच्न चाहन्थ्यौँ हामी तर फोटो खिच्न पनि मानिनन् । धेरै सम्झाएपछि मात्र उनले हामीलाई केही फोटो खिच्न अनुमति दिइन् ।

अंशुको उत्साह देखेर हामी खुसी भयौँ । डर थियो कतै स्कूलमा आम खोज्दै रूने हुन् कि ? अर्को उनले स्कूलमा पाइने खाना खान्छिन् कि खाँदिनन् भन्ने थियो । घरमा त हामीले उनलाई खुवाउन धेरै प्रयास गर्नुपर्छ । त्यसैले हामी निश्चिन्त हुन सकेनौँ ।

म उनलाई स्कूल लैजान त चाहन्थेंँ तर मेरो परीक्षा थियो र समय मिलाउन सकिनँ । उनी मामु र बाबासँग स्कूल गएको क्षण हृदयस्पर्शी थियो। मेरी बहिनीले रून मन लाग्यो कि भनेर सोधिन् । गह थोरै भरिए तर आँसु खुशी र गर्वको थियो ।

साँझ जब म मेरो परीक्षा पछि फर्किएँ उनलाई शान्तपूर्वक सुतेको देखेँ । उनी सायद थाकेकी थिइन् । मैले सोधेँ अंशु रोइन् कि रोइनन् भनेर सोधेँ। मेरी श्रीमती र मेरी बहिनीले रिपोर्ट गरे कि उनी स्कूलबाट घर आइपुग्दा उनी खुसी थिइन् । हामीले उनको शिक्षिकाबाट केही भिडियोहरू प्राप्त गर्यौं । उनी आत्मविश्वासका साथ घुमेको र आफ्ना नयाँ साथीहरूसँग कुरा गरेको देखेर हामी सबै दङ्ग पर्‍यौँ । भिडियोहरूमा उनले अलिकति खाना त खाइन् अझै पनि हामी विश्वस्त हुन सकेका छैनौँ सबै खाना खान्छिन् भनेर ।

अंशु साथीसँग खेल्दै

अंशु ताली बजाऊमा नाच्दै

दोस्रो दिन

अंशु दोस्रो दिन स्कूल जान बढी उत्साहित थिइन्। ब्रेकफास्ट सकिनासाथ लुगै नफेरी आफ्नो झोला बोकेर बाहिर निस्कन थालिन्। हामीले उनलाई लुगा लगाइदिन फकाउनुपर्‍यो। उनले हामी (मामु र म) लाई बाहिर तानिन्। उनको स्कूल भ्यान आउन अझै केही समय बाँकी थियो (त्यसैले हामीले सोच्यौं), तर हामी बाहिर निस्कने बित्तिकै अचानक आइपुग्यो । उनले भ्यानमा भएका सबैलाई अभिवादन गरिन् र मुस्कुराउँदै हात हल्लाउँदै स्कूलतिर लागिन्।

साँझ उनी अघिल्लो दिन जस्तै सुतिरहेकी थिइन्। यद्यपि, उठेपछि भनिन् कि उनको घुँडा दुखिरहेको थियो । एउटा केटाले उनलाई लात्तीले हान्यो रे । हामीले अनुमान गर्यौं कि उनले झगडा सुरु गरेकी हुन सक्छिन् । उनमा अचानक अरूलाई प्याट्ट पिटिहाल्ने बानी बसेको छ । यसले हामीलाई उनको व्यवहार अनुमान गर्न गाह्रो भएको छ अनि अलि दिक्क पनि बनाएको छ ।

उनले स्कूलले उनलाई पढ्न र लेख्न नसिकाएको गुनासो पनि गरिन्।

तेस्रो दिन

तेस्रो दिनको बिहान, हामीले अंशुकी शिक्षिकालाई स्कूलमा उनको व्यवहारको बारेमा सोध्यौं। उहाँले भन्नुभयो कि हाम्री छोरी सबैसँग घुलमिल भएकी छिन् तर हिँडिरहन्छिन् अनि शान्त बस्दिनन् । पहिलो दिन, मकै दिँदा छोरीले मीठो मान्दै खाइछिन् । शिक्षिकाहरूले चिया पिउँदै गर्दा अंशुले सोधिछ्न्, “आफू मात्रै खाको ? हामी त छक्क पर्दै हास्यौँ ।” हाम्री छोरीका गहकिला साना पाइलाका बारेमा सुन्दा हामी खुशी र दङ्ग पर्‍यौँ ।

हामीले उनको दुखेको घुँडाको बारेमा सोध्यौं । हामीलाई थाहा भयो कि हाम्री छोरी वास्तवमा पहिलो अपराधी थिइन्। उनलाई यस्तो आवेगपूर्ण प्रहार गर्नबाट रोक्नु हामीलाई साँच्चै नै गाह्रो भइरहेको छ ।

हामीले शिक्षकलाई अंशुलाई पढ्न र लेख्न केही दिन अनुरोध पनि गर्यौं र उहाँ त्यसमा सहमत हुनुभयो ।

स्कूलको पहिलो हप्ताका बाँकी दिन

बुधबार, तेस्रो दिन, अंशुलाई औपचारिक रूपमा स्कूलमा भर्ना गरियो। बाबा र मामु फेरि स्कूल जानुभयो । अंशु आमालाई देखेर रोइछन्, तर कुनै न कुनै रूपमा शिक्षकहरूले उनलाई स्कूलमा राख्न सफल हुनुभएछ । साताका बाँकी दिनहरू सामान्य रूपमा बिते । केही चिन्ताहरू बढेका छन्, जस्तो कि उनको बदलिएको सुत्ने समय र उनलाई लागेको रुघाखोकी चिसो । तर यो त्यति गम्भीर भने छैन। हाम्री छोरीको स्कूलको पहिलो हप्ता हाम्रो लागि विश्वासको छलांग थियो । हामी उनको व्यवहारका बारेमा सिक्दै नै छौँ र हामी आशा गर्छौं कि उनले आगामी दिनहरूमा अझ राम्रो गर्नेछिन् ।

Tiny First Steps: Daughter’s Exciting First Week at School

By Sandeept

On August 10, 2025

In Blogging, Family

Our daughter, Anshu, started going to school since last Monday. Whenever we asked why do you wan to go to school, she said, “Padhnalai jaane” (To study). We were doubtful if she would be happy and were scared if she would cry in school demanding to go back home. Her first week at school, however, removed some of our doubts.

Jump to…

The First Day

On the first day, Anshu was so excited that she would not stop running around Mamu (her grandmother, whom she calls Aama). We were waiting for Baba (her grandfather, whom she calls Buwa). She kept saying, “Chhito School jaaun na Aama! Buwa lai naparkhine! ” (Let’s go to school quickly, Aama! Won’t wait for Buwa!). She would not even stop to let us take even a photo, which we wanted to keep as a memory. Only after much persuassion, she allowed us to take some photos.

We were happy to see Anshu’s excitement and enthusiasm. We were also scared that she may cry for Aama once at school. We were also worried that she might not eat the food offered at school. At home, we had to make a huge effort to make her eat, so we could not be sure.

I wanted to see her off at school, but I had my PSC exams, and could not manage time to go. Seeing her go to school with Mamu and Baba was heartwarming, though. My sister asked if I felt like crying. Tears did well up, but they were out of happiness and pride.

In the evening, I returned after my exams saw her sleep peacefully. She was probably tired. I asked if Anshu cried. My wife and my sister reported that she was happy when she arrived. we received some videos from her teacher. Seeing her confidently move around and talk with her new friends elated everyone of us. In the videos, she took some food, but still we could not be sure if she had them all.

Anshu showing how to hold a toy like a baby

Anshu dancing on Taali bajau at school

The Second Day

Anshu was more excited to go to school on the second day. As soon as she finished her breakfast, even without changing her clothes, she took her bag and started going out. We had to persuade her to wear clothes for her school. She dragged us (Mamu and I) out. There was still some time for her school van to arrive (so we thought), but unexpectedly it showed up as soon as we went out. She greeted everyone in the van and waved goodbye, smiling wide.

In the evening, she slept just like the previous day. However, she said her knees were paining because a boy kicked her. We guessed she might have started the fight because she has developed this habit of impulsively hitting others, and we have had a hard time predicting her behaviour.

She also complained that the school was not teaching her to read and write.

The Third Day

On the morning of the third day, we asked Anshu’s teacher about her behaviour in school. She said our daughter is easy with everyone, does not stay still, and talks with everyone. On the first day, she said that out daughter was given corn, which she ate it. She also recalled an account when they were sipping tea and Anshu asked, “Aafu matrai khako*?” (Only you are drinking [the tea]?). We were pleasantly surprised by how our daughter was making impressions with her tiny first steps.

We asked about her sore knee, we came to know that our daughter was indeed the first culprit. Stopping her from impulsive hitting is something we have really been struggling with.

We also requested the teacher to give Anshu something to read and write and she agreed to it.

The Rest of the First Week at School

On Wednesday, the third day, Anshu got formally admitted at the school. Baba and Mamu went to the school again. Seeing her Aama, she cried, but somehow they managed to make her stay at school. The rest of the week went as usual. A few concerns are her altered sleep pattern and that she caught cold. But it’s not that serious. Our daughter’s first week at school was a leap of faith for us, and we hope she will do even better in the days ahead.

A sketch representing parenting a toddler and a newborn

Jealousy, Tantrums, and Love: Parenting a Toddler and a Newborn

By Sandeept

On June 24, 2025

In Blogging, Family

Last week, we were blessed with our second child. This newborn boy gave us immense joy but also brought some challenges, particularly in parenting a toddler and a newborn.

When our son was conceived, our daughter was just 19 months old. Now, at 28 months, she is in a tender phase. Fortunately, we live in a joint family, and my parents were supportive throughout the pregnancy. My wife carried the baby while continuing to care for our daughter with relative ease, and that allowed me time to manage work, studies, and household responsibilities.

This week, however, everything changed.

As my wife got admitted to the hospital for the delivery, and my mother stayed with her, the full responsibility of caring for our toddler fell on me. I realised how demanding and unpredictable this age can be. Managing her diet, facing her tantrums, and soothing her aggression require a whole new level of patience (and I am generally a patient guy). It’s difficult to say when her mood changes from calm to aggressive and when she demands chocolates and junk food. Saying “no” is hard; handling the consequences is even harder.

I am also noticing that our daughter is going through an emotional turmoil (of course, she cannot explain it) as she sees her brother being nurtured. She had been excited to meet her baby brother, thinking he would talk and play with her right away. She was eager to kiss, cuddle, and caress him. But when her brother does not talk and play, and when we warn her not to caress and kiss him hard, she gets visibly upset.

What affects her most, though, is the shift in her mother’s attention. Due to the Caesarean section, my wife cannot hold our daughter on her lap or play with her the way she used to. And while the baby gets to lie next to his mother and be constantly cared for, our daughter is sometimes pushed away because of physical and emotional exhaustion. I have seen her frowns when her mother gets irritated by her playful touches. These frowns at times turn into aggression when she slaps me and my sister. Lately, she’s also been craving sugar and chocolates more frequently, and calming her has become increasingly difficult.

As a father, I feel guilty at times. Our daughter is too young to handle her emotions. And we were not prepared for her tantrums and mood swings. While I think she will slowly cope with the situation, I am also discussing these things with my wife, parents, and sister to help our daughter grow emotionally strong.

My mother often says that I became more introverted and emotionally distant from her. I don’t want that to happen to my daughter. I want her to suppress her feelings or feel sidelined. I want to help her to feel heard and loved. I want her to bond strongly with her mother and little brother so that she stays as expressive as she is now.

This journey of parenting two under three has just begun, and every day brings new lessons. If you have had such experiences, please include them in the comment box. We would love to learn from you.

Experiences of a common man!