Tag: Conversation

Listen, will you?

On January 14, 2017

“Are you listening?” I asked myself as my sister was talking the other day.

“No,” I confessed.

“Why weren’t you listening?”

Honestly, I didn’t have the answer. I did not feel like talking at that time. When I came back contemplating over the matter, I understood I did not want to speak because I was not listening well.

I am not good at making conversations. I wanted to know the secrets of better conversations. I sought the help of YouTube. I don’t remember most of the advices I got through speakers at TED Conferences, and some psychology related channels but the one I remember is “Listen!” And this was the only advice I could listen when I thought why I was not conversing with my sister the other day.

Why is listening important? All the videos I watched agree that by listening properly one can decide what to speak with ease. If I had been listening to my sister, I might have easily understood her talk and would have carried it on further. Because I got selfish and stopped listening, I had to make her repeat the same thing twice, which in turn bored both of us. Hence, no conversation!

One speaker on one of the videos said, “These days we listen things so that we can argue and react upon some particular words.” She said something like: “Listen so that you understand. Listen to learn and listen to talk well.” If we listen just to react upon things, we are not good listeners. We must react, of course, but by listening properly, we can decide whether we need to react or not. People say, “We have two ears but one mouth so that we can listen well and talk less. ” It is also said that those who talk less, speak precisely when they must.

I remembered a Folk tale as I was writing this. I am going to keep it as short as possible.

Once upon a time, a king brought three human skulls to the court and asked his ministers, “Can you tell me the price of these skulls?”

‘What could be the price of human skulls?’ The ministers thought. None of them came up with a solution. The king gave them three days to come up with a solution. Three days passed. The king said, “Have you come up with the answer?”

The ministers hung their heads in shame. One minister, however stood up and said, “Your Highness, I got curious when you asked the question. I took a trip to my teacher’s house far away from the city. He gave me the knowledge in discovering the price of a human skull.”

The minister asked permission to demonstrate. He took up a skull in his hand and poked a stick into its right ear hole. The stick went in a and was out through the other ear hole. He inserted another stick into the right ear hole of the second skull. This time it bended towards the throat. He repeated the procedure with the third. This time, the stick went in through the ear hole, and snapped. A larger part went to the cranium and a small part to the throat.

The minister explained, “The first skull is worth four annas. It is the cheapest one because it does not listen to anything. Whatever it listens from one ear goes out through the other.

“The second skull is worth eight annas. It listens but reacts without speaking. The third one is worth sixteen annas or a rupee. It listens, keeps most of it in its mind and speaks only what is necessary. Such skulls are rare.”

The king was happy. The minister was granted his prize for being able to explain the price of the skull.

Here’s what the story wants you to know just like the people said in videos I watched: ‘Listen and understand before you speak, will you?’

Hold My Hand

By Sandeept

On July 9, 2016

In Love, Poetry, Writing

Boy:

An enormous mountain stands before my eyes

But it can not hold me back

Neither can I be bound by the ties

My life has made to yours.

I’ve crossed thousands of rivers;

I’ve passed through mountains;

I’ve climbed over them

To behold the beauty on the other side.

I’ve done them all alone.

Always, I’ve been on myself.

Don’t you be sad

That you have to stay back;

I’ll return

Before fate turns bad.

Girl:

I can’t let you go alone!

Your steps have been hindered

By this mountain once.

A lone traveller you were then;

You lost your bearings,

And when you finally came

To a clearing,

You were half-alive.

My father and I brought you here

And you got back half your life.

Through ceremonious ties,

We’ve been bound.

Don’t say you want to leave me alone;

Don’t climb that mountain without me;

Don’t cross rivers on yourself.

For we’ve sworn:

“Through all places and times

We shall never be apart.”

Boy:

You’re true, dear.

And you’ve made it clear

That I can’t forever travel alone.

I need a partner

With whom I can climb the mountains;

With whom I can cross the streams;

With whom I can share my pains,

Dreams.

Hold my hand,

Come with me.

I can confidently face anything

When you’re beside me.

(P.S.: The concept for this poem came through a dream and my upcoming novel “Quest”.)

A Conversation

By Sandeept

On October 4, 2015

In Blogging, Humans and Humanity, Nepal

Location : Between Jamal to Chandol, Kathmandu on a Micro(bus).

Time : About 2 to 2 : 30 PM

(The following is a real conversation I overheard during my trip back to home from College on Thursday. I recalled each and every words and then translated them. It’s a random conversation between a girl and a boy.)

…

A: I don’t get time to do read. There are too many homeworks to do.

B: It’s more important to read than doing homework. Board exams are not conducted on that basis.

A: What to do? They (teachers) threat that they will not give marks. Today, one said that he will give 0 in class activity.

B: They won’t do that. They can’t. While providing marks to the board, they have to say that everyone had done at their best. It’s a matter of reputation for the teachers and the college. (That’s true!)

A: May be. By the way, why are you absent most of the times? Do you roam around often?

B: Yeah.

A: Alone?

B: Do I need three, four (girls) to roam with, then?

A: No, but I have heard that you have a girlfriend.

B: Now, who is that back-biting me?

A: I just heard it, alright.

B: Who said that?

A: No one in particular. I just heard it.

B: Actually I go around alone. I don’t have a girlfriend.

A: Most (boys) do. But I don’t have (a boyfriend).

B: Most don’t (have boyfriends or girlfriends). It’s difficult to stay in a “relationship”.

A: I don’t think I will ever stay in a relationship. I can’t.

B: Don’t lie.

A: No, it’s true. I can’t think of it.

…

B: I don’t like to walk alone carrying a heavy bag.

A: I used to walk a lot with my friends when I used to study at…

B: It’s a different thing to walk with a friend. I can’t dare to walk alone for long on this scorching sun carrying this load… By the way, I don’t know your name.

A: What? We have talked so many times and you don’t know my name.

B: I forget names, what is it?

A: …

B: I keep forgetting people’s names. I will write it down…(takes a copy and writes) You know my name already, don’t you?

A: Yeah. I know you are … but I don’t know your last name.

B: Rai. And yours?

A: … Pulami(Oh, Magar!). What’s yours? (Didn’t she listen?)

B: Rai… I have heard Pulami for the first time.

A: Can you guess what Pulami is? (Magar, Magar!)

B: What? (Magar!)

A: Like Bahun, Chettri, Newar. Can you guess what Pulami is?

B: Hmm… Chhetri. (Don’t you follow Nepali cricket? There is Rajesh Pulami Magar in the team. You should have known that.)

A: No, Pulami is Magar.

B: Magar? You don’t look like a Magarni, though you are a little chhuchi (while speaking, of course!).

A: My mother is Chhetri.

B: Oh.

A: Yeah, usually Magarnis are nakkali. They don’t study much, but I am not like that. I used to be first in my class and one teacher used to say the same. I had been asked if I was a Bahun. I said that my mother is Chhetri.

B: Love marriage, hmm?

A: But most people say that I look like a Newar.

B: Oh, you do look like Newar.

A: Even the pure Newars are confused at times and call me a Newar.

…

A: You lied. (While saying that you don’t have girlfriend.) I don’t like people who lie.

B: You have to lie sometimes.

A: I can’t lie. Today in class, most of them were lying, one was showing the others’ copy. I stood up and said I had forgot to bring my copy and I was punished. (The teacher had threatened to give 0 because of that. Why do those who speak the truth are always punished?)

B: I don’t give a damn about lying.

A: My mom says to speak the truth always. I think I should also lie sometimes, if I can benefit from it. (Oh no, end of innocence! Never do that.)… I’ll try speaking lies from now on. (Never do that. You can never succeed in it.)

…

B: Which subject you like the most?

A: Bio(logy). I don’t like Physics.

B: What will you do after reading Science (taking Science in Plus 2)?

A: I want to become a doctor. That’s why I am reading Science. (Your interest in Biology is justified.)

B: Specialization?

A: I want to become a surgeon. (Another good student getting off the competition. Wanting does not work. You have to be desperate. I know that.) But I am scared of doing operations. (That’s really bad! You might have to change your aim of becoming a doctor.) We have to cut (dissect) frog in (Grade) 11. (It might go well after that. You never know.)

…

B: What interest you have besides studying?

A: I don’t have much interest in anything. But I like dancing.

B: What do you do?

A: I watch reality shows a lot. I like dancing a lot.

B: I mean what dance form you like to do.

A: Hip-hop, Locking and popping. Those sorts.

B: Don’t you like classical?

A: I like it but I find it boring most of the times.

B: Oh.

A: I like Salsa also. I wanted to join dance classes after SLC but my mom did not approve of it.(Damn!) She thought that I would be more involved in dancing than studying. (Why parents do that?) I don’t think I will ever. There is no time now. (You’ll have missed a lot.)

B: What will do after taking science? (Iteration of a previous question)

A: I’ve already said. (She remembers!) What about you?

B: I’ll take Law in the Bachelor’s level. (Oh, a lawyer!)

A: I don’t understand Law. Not at all. It’s too complex. You have to rote a lot of things.

B: I don’t think so. There are many interesting things. It’s all about knowing and practising. And there will be interesting cases (to deal with). It’s not like Science, where you have to rote something because you can’t understand. It’s not always possible to understand everything. (Point!)

A: Anyway, I have to do my homework and take them everyday. I don’t want to be punished always.

…

(I had to get off within the next thirty seconds. I couldn’t listen anything else. As soon as I reached home, I wrote them down, trying to keep it as accurate as possible.)

Note

The … denotes time interval, which ranged usually between one second to less than 30 seconds.
I neither know nor remember the girl (A) and the boy (B). If you ever came across this, I apologize that I overheard your conversation. Not only that, I converted into a writing. If I have hurt you somehow, please forgive me (again).
The letters, words, terms or sentences within (brackets) are for explanatory purposes.
The italicized words within (brackets) were my spontaneous responses. In my mind, of course!
This post does not intend to hurt the ethnicity of people. It was a light-hearted conversation and I hope everyone can understand that.

Some typical Nepali words used in the conversation:

chhuchi (also chhuchchi) : a girl who speaks in a rude manner. (Used as a joke, here.) To describe a rude-mannered boy, chhucho or chhuchcho would be used.
nakkali : a girl who is inclined to do a lot of make-ups or facial expressions. (I don’t know a single word in English for that!) A boy inclined to doing make-ups would be a nakkale.
Magar : an ethnic group of Nepal especially in the Western and Eastern Hilly regions of Nepal. A Magar lady is called Magarni.
Rai : a major ethnic group in the Eastern Hills of Nepal. Both Magars and Rais are Mongolian in appearance. A Rai girl would be called Raini.
Bahun : a colloquial term for Brahmans in Nepal. A lady would be Bahuni.
Chhetri : also known as Kshetri. A colloquial term for Kshyatriya. Ladies are known as Chhetrinis. They are the most populated caste according to the census.
Newars : a major ethnic group of Kathmandu. A lady Newar would be Newarni.
All the caste names used in common are masculine. Adding ‘ni’ as suffix makes it feminine. (You must have noticed that above. I hadn’t thought it was so before I had written this post.)

Tag: Conversation

​Listen, will you?

Hold My Hand

A Conversation

Listen, will you?