Tag: Aims

Those Untold Feelings

On January 31, 2016

The boy was looking down the street. He had been waiting for someone and it had not even been ten minutes since he had arrived. However, he felt restless. He had been looking at his watch more than fifty times and had taken short glance to his right every ten seconds. He would stand up and walk a few steps. Less than a minute later, he Several things were running in his mind. He had never felt that nervous before. Neither had he ever gone through a situation like he was then.

Her arrival changed him a bit. She had finally come- he felt a little relaxed. But a few seconds later, his nerves got him again. He felt heat on his ears. She came up smiling at him and seeing him nervous, said, “Hi! You don’t look well.”
“No, I’m fine,” the boy said immediately.

She caught his lie as he spoke. He has never been able to lie to her. She knew something was wrong. She pestered on him. The boy did not say anything but smiled as he often did. He had so many things in his mind but had no words to speak them out. What was happening to him? He knew he was being nervous but why? He had talked with the girl before. They had talked fluently over different things. Why wasn’t he able to say everything he had in his mind.

Whether his smile worked or the girl had something else to preoccupy her, she changed the topic, “How did your exam go?”

The boy had just taken an exam for the government service. He had done well. He said so. She simply said, “It might have been easy for you. You have a knack for general knowledge.”

The boy just smiled. It was a fact known to most of his friends and he had no way but to accept the fact. GK had always been his talent. That was why almost everyone thought he could be a section officer easily. He did not want to talk about the exam and his employments opportunities that day. He was being distracted. “Other things aside,” he thought, ‘I must speak out what I actually want to.’

Determined, he had just opened his mouth when he heard the girl beside him say with ecstasy, “You know what? My boyfriend proposed me yesterday evening in front of the family. We are getting married as soon as the results of my back paper comes out.”

The boy was speechless. He could not let out another word. He looked at the girl who was almost talking to herself about the last evening. He could hear the excitement in her voice and he could happiness in her eyes. What could he say? He had known her boyfriend. He had even imagined how she and her boyfriend would have reacted if he had let his heart out that day. Now, knowing that they were getting married soon, within the split second, he decided to stuff the things he had been planning to say for long. He would never again bring them up on the surface.

She was still talking as he was looking at her with a smile on his face. Her happiness- that was what he had prayed to God everyday. He could have given up everything for that. All he had to do was to keep the secret of his heart to himself. Without ever letting it out, he could she smile on her face and happiness in her eyes.

He stood up all of a sudden and then said smiling, “Congratulations! Wish you a happy married life.”

“I’m not married yet,” the girl objected.

“You’re definitely becoming a bride very soon. I wish you well.”

“You are coming to our wedding. I will make sure you’ll be invited.”

“You’ll make sure of that, I know but I might not be able to go then. That’s why I wish you a blessed conjugal life,” the boy said.

“You wished me thrice already,” the girl showed her presence of mind. The boy replied looking at her eyes, “So that it might be lucky for you.”

She did not get logic in what he said. She laughed heartily as she said, “You can be so funny at times.”

After almost an hour, the boy received a call on his cell phone. He left immediately. But he felt there was a hollow in his mind which could increase if he did not do something to cover it up.

Indecision crept on him, though. He could not think anything except that he had been late. So late that nothing could happen. All he could think of was crying. That night, as the silence increased, he cried. Tears left his eyes like a stream and sobs changed into hiccups. He cried so much that only sleep could break it. When it came up, he could not say. All he could say was that his pillow had been wet with his tears and that he could never forget her.

Blockade: True Picture of Our Economy

By Sandeept

On October 16, 2015

In Blogging, Economy, Nepal, Politics

“How long will remittance sustain our economy?” Someone had said somewhere I don’t clearly remember.

The bitter reality of our economy has come forward during this blockade we are currently facing. There might be several political (or non-political) and diplomatic reasons behind the blockade. Whatever the reasons, the weakness of our economy has been exposed.

Economic blockades are not new to us- the experts and the media says so. When economic blockade was imposed by India during the late 60s (1967?), my grand-parents were in their late twenties. During the second blockade by India in late 80s (1989?), my parents were in their twenties. The third time we face the blockade and I am in my twenties. Is this a coincidence? I think not. I think it’s a mistake.

It’s a mistake made by our previous generation. I don’t want to blame my grand-parents. They were far less educated and the impact of blockade might not have been severe. My parents are more educated to them and had access to media – the Gorkhapatra, and Radio Nepal. (Nepal Television had come up not so long ago and many people could not afford a TV set.) They had read and heard about it. They had even felt the influence — coupons and schedules had been introduced to meet demands of kerosene oil.

When they talked of the 80s blockade last week, I asked them, “Why couldn’t you do anything to change the situation?” They did not say anything and I did not pester. It might have been embarrassing to them. It’s obvious I will be embarrassed if my children will ask such a thing in future. I don’t want to be asked the same question. What do I need to do then?

The current economy of Nepal is heavily supported by remittance. Young people go to several countries – mostly India, Gulf countries, Malaysia and South Korea for labour works. Many(including my friends) are in Australia, Europe, the US and Japan for studies and part time jobs (contributing to the remittance). Remittance has ensured that we have money; but this blockade is a proof that money is not enough to sustain economy. There are other important factors.

The first is policy. We lack strong policies that promote economic growth. The policies that have been made during the last 25 years have not been executed well. This is most probably due to political instability and corruption. The policy makers have been influenced by the frequent change in government. Discontinuities of policies made by the previous executives have been seen so often. There is an immediate need of changing the way think and act.

Fuel Crisis hits Nepal due to Economic blockade. Source: econitynepal.com

The second is the industries. Prithvi Narayan Shah had told in 1831 B.S. (almost 240 years ago!) to promote industries within the country and never to import clothes and food. If leaders after him had followed that, we would at least have been independent on manufacturing clothes and food products. We have failed on that mainly due to political influence over industries. ALL THE GOVERNMENT-OWNED INDUSTRIES HAVE BEEN SHUT DOWN! This lapse of management has cost us a lot.

The third is ownership. The failure of government in management of industries has been shown above. The only way to run an industry for long is to make people believe that they own them. Industries should be converted into Public Companies. This will help create emotional as well as financial attachment towards the industries.

The fourth is human resource and its proper utilization. We do not lack in skills, neither are we lazy. The same Nepali who don’t not do anything here, works diligently and even under risk in the Gulf for low wages. The government directly and indirectly inspires people to sell labour abroad. It would be good if the skills they learn could be utilized here. But sadly, whether due to the lack of their interest or due to the inefficiency of the government, they do not work here. They somehow manage to go abroad, leaving us lacking in human resource. Similarly, skilled human resources and even experts have been neglected, the result of which is BRAIN-DRAIN. The solution of this goes down to the us. We need to choose the right leaders. Among many bad leaders, to select good ones might be extremely difficult. But that is the challenge we would certainly like to undertake.

The fifth is utilization of natural resources. We are rich in it. We have trekking routes full of adventures. We have water sufficient for production of electricity and for irrigating our fields. We have different types of climate which enrich our bio-diversity. There are herbs like Yarsha Gumba (Cordyceps) which can help improve our economy in no time given their proper management. There are gemstones which can be utilized to alleviate poverty. This is possible through capable management and visionary leadership.

When these are combined, there is no way we can not sustain our economy. We have been given promises of economic growth in the past. What we want is action. We have to be sincerely do our works first. Writing an article in the Internet might not work, but it is a small step to inspire myself and to inspire people around me. It is high time, we become honest with each other. WE DO WANT A BETTER SITUATION FOR OUR CHILDREN, DON’T WE?

(P.S. Will be published in Nepali soon. There might also be other ways to improve our economy which I might have missed. Please let me know by commenting below.)

A Conversation

By Sandeept

On October 4, 2015

In Blogging, Humans and Humanity, Nepal

Location : Between Jamal to Chandol, Kathmandu on a Micro(bus).

Time : About 2 to 2 : 30 PM

(The following is a real conversation I overheard during my trip back to home from College on Thursday. I recalled each and every words and then translated them. It’s a random conversation between a girl and a boy.)

…

A: I don’t get time to do read. There are too many homeworks to do.

B: It’s more important to read than doing homework. Board exams are not conducted on that basis.

A: What to do? They (teachers) threat that they will not give marks. Today, one said that he will give 0 in class activity.

B: They won’t do that. They can’t. While providing marks to the board, they have to say that everyone had done at their best. It’s a matter of reputation for the teachers and the college. (That’s true!)

A: May be. By the way, why are you absent most of the times? Do you roam around often?

B: Yeah.

A: Alone?

B: Do I need three, four (girls) to roam with, then?

A: No, but I have heard that you have a girlfriend.

B: Now, who is that back-biting me?

A: I just heard it, alright.

B: Who said that?

A: No one in particular. I just heard it.

B: Actually I go around alone. I don’t have a girlfriend.

A: Most (boys) do. But I don’t have (a boyfriend).

B: Most don’t (have boyfriends or girlfriends). It’s difficult to stay in a “relationship”.

A: I don’t think I will ever stay in a relationship. I can’t.

B: Don’t lie.

A: No, it’s true. I can’t think of it.

…

B: I don’t like to walk alone carrying a heavy bag.

A: I used to walk a lot with my friends when I used to study at…

B: It’s a different thing to walk with a friend. I can’t dare to walk alone for long on this scorching sun carrying this load… By the way, I don’t know your name.

A: What? We have talked so many times and you don’t know my name.

B: I forget names, what is it?

A: …

B: I keep forgetting people’s names. I will write it down…(takes a copy and writes) You know my name already, don’t you?

A: Yeah. I know you are … but I don’t know your last name.

B: Rai. And yours?

A: … Pulami(Oh, Magar!). What’s yours? (Didn’t she listen?)

B: Rai… I have heard Pulami for the first time.

A: Can you guess what Pulami is? (Magar, Magar!)

B: What? (Magar!)

A: Like Bahun, Chettri, Newar. Can you guess what Pulami is?

B: Hmm… Chhetri. (Don’t you follow Nepali cricket? There is Rajesh Pulami Magar in the team. You should have known that.)

A: No, Pulami is Magar.

B: Magar? You don’t look like a Magarni, though you are a little chhuchi (while speaking, of course!).

A: My mother is Chhetri.

B: Oh.

A: Yeah, usually Magarnis are nakkali. They don’t study much, but I am not like that. I used to be first in my class and one teacher used to say the same. I had been asked if I was a Bahun. I said that my mother is Chhetri.

B: Love marriage, hmm?

A: But most people say that I look like a Newar.

B: Oh, you do look like Newar.

A: Even the pure Newars are confused at times and call me a Newar.

…

A: You lied. (While saying that you don’t have girlfriend.) I don’t like people who lie.

B: You have to lie sometimes.

A: I can’t lie. Today in class, most of them were lying, one was showing the others’ copy. I stood up and said I had forgot to bring my copy and I was punished. (The teacher had threatened to give 0 because of that. Why do those who speak the truth are always punished?)

B: I don’t give a damn about lying.

A: My mom says to speak the truth always. I think I should also lie sometimes, if I can benefit from it. (Oh no, end of innocence! Never do that.)… I’ll try speaking lies from now on. (Never do that. You can never succeed in it.)

…

B: Which subject you like the most?

A: Bio(logy). I don’t like Physics.

B: What will you do after reading Science (taking Science in Plus 2)?

A: I want to become a doctor. That’s why I am reading Science. (Your interest in Biology is justified.)

B: Specialization?

A: I want to become a surgeon. (Another good student getting off the competition. Wanting does not work. You have to be desperate. I know that.) But I am scared of doing operations. (That’s really bad! You might have to change your aim of becoming a doctor.) We have to cut (dissect) frog in (Grade) 11. (It might go well after that. You never know.)

…

B: What interest you have besides studying?

A: I don’t have much interest in anything. But I like dancing.

B: What do you do?

A: I watch reality shows a lot. I like dancing a lot.

B: I mean what dance form you like to do.

A: Hip-hop, Locking and popping. Those sorts.

B: Don’t you like classical?

A: I like it but I find it boring most of the times.

B: Oh.

A: I like Salsa also. I wanted to join dance classes after SLC but my mom did not approve of it.(Damn!) She thought that I would be more involved in dancing than studying. (Why parents do that?) I don’t think I will ever. There is no time now. (You’ll have missed a lot.)

B: What will do after taking science? (Iteration of a previous question)

A: I’ve already said. (She remembers!) What about you?

B: I’ll take Law in the Bachelor’s level. (Oh, a lawyer!)

A: I don’t understand Law. Not at all. It’s too complex. You have to rote a lot of things.

B: I don’t think so. There are many interesting things. It’s all about knowing and practising. And there will be interesting cases (to deal with). It’s not like Science, where you have to rote something because you can’t understand. It’s not always possible to understand everything. (Point!)

A: Anyway, I have to do my homework and take them everyday. I don’t want to be punished always.

…

(I had to get off within the next thirty seconds. I couldn’t listen anything else. As soon as I reached home, I wrote them down, trying to keep it as accurate as possible.)

Note

The … denotes time interval, which ranged usually between one second to less than 30 seconds.
I neither know nor remember the girl (A) and the boy (B). If you ever came across this, I apologize that I overheard your conversation. Not only that, I converted into a writing. If I have hurt you somehow, please forgive me (again).
The letters, words, terms or sentences within (brackets) are for explanatory purposes.
The italicized words within (brackets) were my spontaneous responses. In my mind, of course!
This post does not intend to hurt the ethnicity of people. It was a light-hearted conversation and I hope everyone can understand that.

Some typical Nepali words used in the conversation:

chhuchi (also chhuchchi) : a girl who speaks in a rude manner. (Used as a joke, here.) To describe a rude-mannered boy, chhucho or chhuchcho would be used.
nakkali : a girl who is inclined to do a lot of make-ups or facial expressions. (I don’t know a single word in English for that!) A boy inclined to doing make-ups would be a nakkale.
Magar : an ethnic group of Nepal especially in the Western and Eastern Hilly regions of Nepal. A Magar lady is called Magarni.
Rai : a major ethnic group in the Eastern Hills of Nepal. Both Magars and Rais are Mongolian in appearance. A Rai girl would be called Raini.
Bahun : a colloquial term for Brahmans in Nepal. A lady would be Bahuni.
Chhetri : also known as Kshetri. A colloquial term for Kshyatriya. Ladies are known as Chhetrinis. They are the most populated caste according to the census.
Newars : a major ethnic group of Kathmandu. A lady Newar would be Newarni.
All the caste names used in common are masculine. Adding ‘ni’ as suffix makes it feminine. (You must have noticed that above. I hadn’t thought it was so before I had written this post.)