Tag: Humans

A Wedding (Part 1/4): The Proposal

On April 19, 2018

In Nepali, essay, Family, Humans and Humanity, Nepal

(A Wedding is a single essay that I chose to break down into 4 parts because of its length. This is the 1st part of the essay.)

***

“Difficult times have come,” Mom expresses her worry after getting an invitation of the wedding of my neighbour. “Brahmin priests have stopped getting Brahmin girls for their sons. I heard … is bringing a Chhetrini!”

“The line between Brahmins and Chhetris is dissolving,” I say.

“Are you planning to bring a lower caste (non-Upadhyaya Brahmin) girl? Do it if you want. Then don’t see my face again!”

The calmness with which she says this baffles me. Dad says, “You shouldn’t be obstinate. Don’t you need your son.”

“I don’t need anybody who don’t respect my thoughts and rituals. A lower caste girl can’t participate in Pooja and can’t get involved in Shraaddha. I don’t want to be hungry after my death.”

“What will you do if you are hungry while you are still alive?”

I had that question too. Mom does not give a straight answer. She has a notion that she does not agree to quit. And no one can change her.

While my Mom warns me not to be in relationship with a girl of “lower caste” or a foreigner, she actually wants me to fall in love with an “upper” Brahmin girl. “How do we choose who we fall in love with?” I ask, the answer to which my parents do not know.

***

Much later, just as I am writing this essay, I have a revelation, “I can choose someone of a particular caste, religion or nationality to be my girlfriend. I don’t have to randomly fall in love with anyone.”

“How?” You might be asking.

Well, in societies like the one I am in living, there are said and unsaid rules that guide me. I am told repeatedly, even before I understand the dynamics of love, that being in love with a girl out of my caste is bad. Her beauty and character won’t have any effect upon me. I might say she is beautiful but I’ll never have a desire to be with her.

But a beautiful girl of my caste might attract me in no time and without even knowing her enough, I might “fall” in love with her.

A socio-psychological wiring can make me choose the one I have to be in love with.

However, even without such sociological barriers, you can choose who you want to be in a relationship with. You see thousands of beautiful girls everyday but you don’t have to fall for everyone. Neither of the girls may attract you. You have your preferences which determine who is the most suitable for you.

I have not been able to choose to be in a relationship. It’s hard for an introverted guy who questions everything. Even when I am in love with someone, I’ll question myself, “Is this love? Or is it just an infatuation?” millions of times before I accept that I’m in love with her. Then a gazillion times, I’ll ask myself, “Should I tell her? Will she accept me?”

By the time I decide to ask her, she’ll be gone off as someone else’s bride. Even if she does not, I will never have the courage to say, “I love you”–the simplest three letters that carry the biggest weight of a relationship.

Whenever I’ll be in a relationship with a girl of my caste, Mom will be the happiest. No, I’m not saying this. She says it herself. She will not have to worry about match-making which is the most difficult task these days before a wedding.

***

If you’re not in a relationship, your parents will start looking up girls for you. They make contacts with the families of girls who are the “most suitable” for their sons. Often a third person (Lhami/Lami– match-maker) who knows both sides is involved. After a lot of rejections, in many cases, and sometimes after immediate acceptance, wedding ceremony between a girl and a boy is fixed.

This “type” of wedding known as the “Maagi Bihe (arranged marriage)” is still the most prevalent. The most worrisome of all the weddings is “Bhaagi Bihe (running marriage)” because a couple in love runs away from their families to get married. The family does not accept most of the times. There have been many tragedies because of Bhaagi Bihe.

Another type of wedding is getting popular though. It’s the “love cum arranged marriage”. A couple fall in love, parents accept and then the couple gets married. There may be conditions like the ones set by my Mom but some of intercaste weddings have been accepted by parents.

***

By now, you have known that my Mom has some rules that I must follow to choose a suitable girl. She is not alone in this matter. She is a typical Brahmin woman who wants to secure her “life” after death. I don’t blame her for her thoughts. I don’t know if I should blame our culture but I think I must accept that most of the Hindus are worried about the “life after death” and another life than the one they are living.

Hindus believe in the existence of Atman that is unfaltering and indestructible. Atman is the source of consciousness or life. It resides on bodies that are alive. Once someone is dead, the Atman leaves him and goes to the Paramatma, the highest consciousness or Bhagawan.

There is a twist though. Atman is not incorruptible. It also carries desire. The Atman that carries desire to remain in the material world (Earth, Heaven, etc.) falls in an endless cycle of births and deaths. However, the Atman that chooses to be with Paramatma does not have to go to the endless cycle. However, it has to come to the material world whenever Paramatma wants.

Confused? It’s indeed confusing. No lecture on Veds and Geeta can clear up the confusion. No dead has come back to life and said what life after death actually is. Is it absolute darkness? Is it brighter than our world? Do we go to Heaven or Hell after our death? Will someone reward us for the good we have done and punish us for our evils? Nobody knows.

But these have been etched in our minds through scriptures and Gurus and priests. We choose not to deny our scriptures and we don’t question our Gurus. That’s why, “life after death” has become more important than the life we are now living.

And I can’t change my Mom’s mind. She has heard stories of Heaven and Hell. She desires to be in Heaven. One wrong move from her son might be consequential in God denying her the paradise she dreams of. Her daughter-in-law must prepare Pinda, the food of the dead, in an annual ceremony known as Shraaddha after her death. If her daughter-in-law cannot be involved in Shraaddha, she believes she will be hungry in Heaven.

When a Brahman gets married to someone of a lower caste or a foreigner, he/she “falls” from her caste. A Upadhyaya Brahman might turn into Jaisi Brahman, Chhetri or Shudra.

I propose a solution, “If I bring a “lower caste” girl as my bride why not elevate her caste instead? If she takes my Gotra (clan based on Rishis) and my surname, why not my caste? Elevate her, get her involved in rituals, propagate culture. You don’t need to worry about your afterlife.”
My parents look at me with a shock. We all know the society does not work that way. But I just hope it worked like that. Nobody would have to worry about anything then.

***

Meanwhile, my neighbour’s home has just begun buzzing with activity. His brothers, sisters and relatives have come up to help them. His wedding is going to be the one that will be remembered for years to come. Even if we forget, the groom and his bride will not!

नारीवाद: एक दृष्टिकोण

By Sandeept

On March 8, 2018

In Humans and Humanity, Blogging, Family, नेपाली

रावणले अपहरण गरेकी सीतालाई उनको राजा र प्रजाले अपनाएनन् । जीवनका अन्तिम क्षणसम्म वनवासी भइन् । तिनै सीताका “पति” रामले छलले बालीलाई मारेपछी तारालाई “जो तिम्रो पति थिएन, त्यसका लागि शोक गर्नुपर्दैन” भनिदिए । रावणको ध्यान भङ्ग गर्ने मन्दोदरीलाई नङ्ग्याए, अफसोच गरेनन् । कुमारी आमा कुन्तीले आफ्नै छोरोलाई पराइजस्तो व्यवहार भएको सहनपर्‍यो । एक दिन उनका पाँच भाइ छोराले भने, “हेर्नुस् त आमा, हामीले के ल्यायौँ” । उनले नहेरेरै भनिन्, “बाँडेर लिनू” । अर्जुनले स्वयंवर गरेर आएकी राजकुमारी द्रौपदीलाई मान्छेसम्म गनेनन् पाण्डवहरूले । कौरवले पनि रानी द्रौपदीलाई “वेश्या” भने । जुवामा थापे पाण्डवले, हुर्मत लिए कौरवले । विश्वयुद्धको तत्कालीन कारण बन्यो त्यही, जसमा कुरु वंश झन्डै विनाश भयो ।

पुराण/इतिहास/मिथकमा थुप्रै उदाहरण पाइन्छ नारीका दु:खका । हामीले बर्सेनि पढ्ने “स्वस्थानी व्रतकथा”मा सतीदेवीलाई नारायणले छल गरेर जोगी रूपधारी महादेवको हातमा सुम्पिदिन्छन् । कसैको चित्त बुझ्दैन तर “मेरो कर्मले यस्तै पारिल्यायो, के गर्ने” भन्दै सतीदेवी जान्छिन् । सतीदेवीका आमाबाबु भने तिनै छली नारायणलाई पुज्छ्न्, छोरीज्वाइँलाई हेला गरेर । सतीदेवी यज्ञको आगोमा होमिन्छिन् । तिनै देवीलाई देखाएर हज्जारौं वर्ष चल्छ पतिको लाशसँग जिउँदै जल्ने सतीप्रथा ।

“कर्म”को खेल दोहोरिन्छ गोमाको जीवनीमा पटकपटक । भाग्यवादको चङ्गुलमा अझैसम्म नारीहरू पिल्सिएका छन् । पतिव्रता वृन्दाको पति जालन्धर “पार्वतीलाई छल गर्न जान्छु” भन्छ । वृन्दाले पतिलाई त्यति प्रेम गर्दागर्दै पनि जालन्धर बाहिर चाहार्छ । उता नारायण पनि वृन्दालाई छल्न पुग्छन् उसैगरी । नारायणकी पत्नी लक्ष्मीको त नाम पनि आउँदैन । पुराणहरूमा “राक्षस” हुन् वा “भगवान्”, कुनै पुरुषबाट कुनै नारी सुरक्षित छैनन् ।

पुराण र कथाहरूको माध्यमबाट हाम्रो पुरुष अवचेतनमा नै नारीलाई हेप्नुपर्छ र नारी भोग्या मात्रै हो भन्ने पारिएको छ । त्यस्तै, नारी अवचेतनमा पुरुषको “दास” बन्नुपर्छ भन्ने कुरा बसेको छ । नारीवादी चेतनाले अवचेतनका यसप्रकारका गलत कुराका विरुद्धमा बोल्नु पर्छ भन्ने मान्यता संसारभर नै छ । पुरुषको शोषकवादी सोच ढाल्नु नारीवादको मूल उद्देश्य हुनुपर्छ । बोक्सीका नाममा सताइएका, दाइजोका लागि यातना दिइएका, मानव तस्करीमा परेका र यौनिक सन्तुष्टिका माध्यम बनाइएका वास्तविक पीडितहरूको न्याय नै नारीवादको ध्येय हुनुपर्छ ।

तर नारीवादमा “र्‍याडिकलिज्म”(Radicalism) हाबी छ। यो नारीवादले पुरुषलाई गलत मात्र देख्छ । नारीले पनि गल्ती गर्छन् भन्ने कुरालाई नजरअन्दाज गरिदिन्छ । शोषकवादी पुरुषको साटोमा शोषकवादी नारी स्थापित हुनुपर्छ भन्ने गलत मान्यता बोक्नु कदापि सही हुन सक्दैन । कानूनी आडमा पुरुषको जीवन तहसनहस पार्ने प्रवृति बढ्दो छ । पैसाका लागि केही नारीहरूले डिभोर्सको सहायता लिएका छन् । कोही प्रेमी या पतिलाई धोका दिँदै एनजीओ (NGO)को आडमा उल्टो पुरुषलाई नै अप्ठ्यारोमा पार्नेको संख्या पनि बढ्दो छ ।

व्यभिचार, धूम्रपान र मध्यपानलाई स्वतन्त्रताको प्रतीक मान्नेहरूको पनि कमी छैन । यी सब गलत हुन् भन्ने जान्दाजान्दै “पुरुषले गर्न हुने, महिलाले किन नहुने ?” भन्ने नारीहरूको कमी छैन अचेल । असल खराबको पहिचान गर्न सक्ने जुन नारीवादी चेतना छ, त्यसलाई र्‍याडिकलिज्मले ध्वस्त पारेको देखिन्छ ।

पीडित र पीडक जुनसुकै लिङ्गका हुनसक्छन् । केही फटाहा पुरुषका कारण सबै पुरुषलाई अनि केही बदमास महिलाका कारण सबै महिलालाई गलत देख्नु राम्रो होइन । तर एकले अर्कालाई शङ्का गर्ने वातावरण छ । शङ्काले लङ्का जलाउँछ भन्ने उखान छ । अर्थात्, जहाँ एकले अर्कालाई विश्वस गर्नै सक्दैन, त्यहाँ साथ र समन्वय कसरी हुन सक्छ ?

आमालाई पहिलो गुरु मानिन्छ भने घरपरिवारलाई पहिलो पाठशाला । नारीलाई नै घरपरिवार र समाजको सूत्रधार मानिन्छ । यद्यपि परिवार र समाजलाई अघि बढाउने काम नारीको मात्रै होइन, पुरुषको पनि हो । नारी र पुरुषको सहकार्यले नै संसार चल्दछ । “नारीपुरुष एकै रथका दुई पाङ्ग्रा हुन्” भनेर त्यसै भनिएको होइन ।

Who did it?

By Sandeept

On December 20, 2017

In Blogging, Humans and Humanity, Nepal, Nepali, Politics

On Mangsir 18, 2074 (December 4, 2017), three days prior to the second phase of general election, an explosion at Chapali, Kathmandu injured 11 people. One of them was the candidate former Minister of Health Gagan Thapa. He was shown to put on bandages around his forehead but some hours later, he was seen at Reporters’ Club and he spoke for more than an our without showing a trace of injury.

I don’t know if the injury was faked. The mainstream media never said it was faked but there were others who said Gagan Thapa was somehow involved in the explosion and that it was one thing that would fetch him “sympathy” votes. He did win the election. Another rumour that surfaced was that there was involvement of the Left Alliance behind the attack. What we got to hear after the elections was that anti-election group led by Biplov did it.

We all know Gagan Thapa won but what happened to the 10 other people who were hospitalized? They were not in news after the election.

Were those who did the explosion caught and punished? We don’t know. This is really strange. A former Minister is bombed amidst his cadres before the election and ten people are injured. Gagan Thapa should have been burning with rage and should have demanded the arrest of the bombers within twenty-four hours. But no one has been arrested till date.

Who did it–Gagan Thapa, Left Alliance or Biplov Group or somebody else? Where is our police force, intelligence and investigative journalism?

***

On Bhadra 7, 2072 (August 24, 2017), an incident in Tikapur Kailali shook the nation. Seven police officers, one of who was a Tharu, were brutally killed, and a two years old baby was shot. After the incident, hundreds of Tharus were tortured for being involved in the carnage.

Who did it?

The government blamed the Tharus. Resham Chaudhary was accused of being the mastermind behind the killing of the police. But there were rumors that the attackers were highly trained and that they could be a gang or R&AW agents from India. The Tharus blame the police for burning their huts.

For more than two years, Resham Chaudhary is in India. Before he fled, he was a popular media personality. I used to like his Gaijatra albums that were released during the period of censorship. (The king was in power then and the only way to express dissatisfaction was through the comic satires during the festival of Gaijatra.) When he was accused, I could not believe that he could plot for such a heart-wrenching incident. But he fled. He might have his reasons but running away is never a way to say that he is good.

This Mangsir, he came in news again. He was nominated for the elections held in Mangsir 21 (December 7) through his relative. (He is still in India.) Nobody opposed it and he won the election with an overwhelming amount of votes.

The police says Resham Chaudhary a Most Wanted criminal. The fact that Election Commission allowed him to be a candidate says otherwise. Who resgistered his nomination and why?

Now that he has won, the Election Commission wants him to come and fetch the certificate of victory. The police says they will catch him. This is not to the first time an accused has won an election. But they have walked among the policemen without a trouble.

I have a lot of questions: What stops Resham Chaudhary from coming Nepal and claiming victory? Police? If so, will the police arrest him? Will the police let him go after political pressure? Will the victims of the Tikapur incident ever get justice?

And the biggest of all: Who really is the mastermind behind the incident?

***

References:

http://kathmandupost.ekantipur.com/news/2017-12-04/nc-leader-thapa-injured-in-ied-explosion.html

http://kathmandupost.ekantipur.com/news/2015-08-25/8-killed-in-tikapur-clash.html

https://thehimalayantimes.com/nepal/tikapur-carnage-conspirator-resham-lal-chaudhary-elected-kailali-1/

http://kathmandupost.ekantipur.com/news/2017-12-19/govt-urged-to-handover-certificate-of-victory-to-resham-chaudhary.html

https://thehimalayantimes.com/nepal/tikapur-victims-demand-justice-govt/

गोर्खा मनकामना …

By Sandeept

On August 2, 2017

In Blogging, Humans and Humanity, Nature, Nepal, Travel, नेपाली

“उठ्, हामीसँग मनकामना हिँड् ।” ठुल्ममीको आवाज आयो ।

“जानू दादा, फुर्सद पनि छ ।” बहिनीले भनी ।

साउन १० गते मङ्गलबार मेरा कानमा परेका पहिला शब्दहरू यिनै थिए । म भने निद्राबाट राम्रोसँग ब्युँझिएकै थिइन । के भइरहेको छ भनेर बुझ्नै सकिन निकै बेर त । सपना पो हो कि ? एकछिन रनभुल्लमा परेपछि सपना होइन भन्ने लाग्यो अनि नुहाउनु पो पर्छ भन्दै जुरुक्क उठेँ ।

शरीर भित्र र बाहिर सफा भएपछि चियाको चुस्की लिँदै बिस्कुट चप्लक्क चोब्दै चपाएँ । मन्दिर जानु थियोे तर भोक असाध्यै लागेको थियो । पेटको जलन शान्त भयो । साँच्चै भैरव अर्यालले भनेझैँ भुँडी पूजा नभएसम्म केही गर्न मन नलाग्दो रहेछ ।

सवा ६ बजेतिर ठुल्ममी र ठुल्बाबासँग घरबाट निस्किएँ । कालो बादल बर्सिन थाल्यो । घरबाट धुम्बाराही चोक नपुग्दै मसिनो भए पनि भिज्ने गरि पानी परिसकेको थियो । ठुल्बाबा त लमकलमक अघि लागिहाल्नु भो । ठुल्ममीलाई चैँ हिँड्न गाह्रो हुन थालेको रैछ । त्यसमाथि मामूको सानो चप्पल लगाउनु भएको थियो । उहाँको गतिमा हिँडेँ म पनि, छाता ओढ्दै ।

धुम्बाराही चोकमा पुग्नेबित्तिकै महानगर यातायात चढियो । हुन त चक्रपथ परिक्रमा गर्ने गाडी पाउन गाह्राे छैन तर जुन पहिला आयो त्यही नै चढियो । पहिले महानगर यातायातको गाडी चढ्दा बस्न अफ्ठ्यारो भएको थिएन । त्यो गाडीमा बस्दा चैँ अगाडिको सिटमा घुँडा ठोकियो । ‘घुँडा नठोक्किने सिट स्पेस भएको गाडी पाउन पनि अति मुस्किल !’ मेरो सोच ।

सात बजे कलंकी पुग्यौँ । एकैछिनमा नारायणगढ जाने गाडी (माइक्रोबस) मा मनकामना (कुरिनटार) ओर्लिने भन्दै चढ्यौँ । सुरुमा प्रती व्यक्ति ३७० रुपैयाँ भन्दैथिए तर ३०० मै माने । सुरुमा त सोचिनँ तर एक जनालाई ५० रुपैयाँ जती महङ्गो पर्न गयो कि जस्तो चैँ लाग्यो ।

कलंकीमा सातै बजेदेखि जाम ! एक लेन बाटो खनेको छ अनि मास्तिर चोकमा पहिले बनेको आकाशे पुल भत्काएर बिजोग ! आधा घण्टापछि जाम खुल्यो । काठमाडौँ जिल्लाका नगरहरूको बिजोग पनि देखियो । बाटोभरी पानी परिरह्यो । हिलोले छ्पक्कै छोपेको छ काठमाडौँको सडकलाई । गाडीहरूले जोतेका छन् तिनलाई । कमी छ त रोपार र धानका बीउको ! काठमाडौँ महानगरपालिका, नागार्जुन र चन्द्रागिरि नगरपालिकाका मुल बाटाहरू नै खेतजस्ता भएका छन् । कीर्तिपुरमा सडक निर्माणमा घोटाला भयो रे भन्ने सुनिएको थियो अघिल्लो दिन । स्मार्ट नगर बनाउँछौँ भन्ने निर्वाचित पदाधिकारीलाई सम्झेर हाँसो उठ्छ । माया पनि लागेर आउँछ । कम्तीमा सिटी त पहिला बनाउनुस् भन्ने सुझाव पनि दिन मन लाग्छ ।

धुवाँधुलोको शहर छुटेर गाडी नागढुङ्गाको ओरालो झर्यो । हिलो कम भएको थियो तर कुहिरोले डाँडो पुरै छेकेको थियो । पानीमा रुझ्दै गाडीले कुहिरो छिचोल्यो । नौबिसे आइपुग्दा त आकाश अलि खुलेको थियो, पानी पर्न पनि रोकिएको थियो ।

सिम्लेमा गाडी एकछिन रोकियो । पर पानीले डुबाइएका खेतमा खनजोत गर्दै रोपाइँ चल्दै थियो । मलाई रमाइलो लाग्दै थियो । ती किसानहरू चाहिँ रमाइ रहेका थिए वा सधैँ गर्नुपर्ने कामको बोझले थिचिएका थिए, थाहा नै भएन । अझ पर पर पहाडको टाकुरीमा सेतो-कालो बादल मडारिइ रहेका थिए । ती बादलले किसानलाई खुसीको सन्देश दिन्छन् सायद । तर कल्पना नै गर्न नसक्ने त्रास पो दिन्छन् कि सँगै बाढी पहिरो ल्याएर ।

त्यसपछि गाडी फेरि हुइँकियो । निकैबेर हावाले मुखमा हानिरह्यो । मुख अलिकति कुच्चियो कि जस्तो पनि लाग्थ्यो घरीघरी । तर मीठा गीत सुन्दै बाहिर हेर्दै हावा खानुको मज्जा शब्दमा वर्णन गर्नै सकिँदैन ! बैरेनी बजारमा बाटो बन्दै रहेछ । त्यहाँ पनि हिलो र धुलो देख्न पाइयो । काठमाडौंं झैँ निर्माणाधीन बजार रहेछ भन्ने मेरो मनमा पर्‍यो । तर अलि पर मोडमा पुग्दा खनिएको पहाड अस्थिर भएर अहिले नै ढुङ्गा खस्छन् कि जस्तो पनि देखियो । त्यो बजार कटे पछि फेरि रफ्तार पकड्यो माइक्रोले ।

साढे नौ बजेतिर मलेखु बजारमा गाडी गुड्दै थियो । मेरो मन पनि उड्दै थियो । परार साल हिउँदमा दुई साता बसेपछि त्यो ठाउँमा प्राणको अंश नै छोडे झैँ लाग्छ । त्यहाँ हिँडेका बाटा-गोरेटा, पहाड र खोलाहरूको सम्झना मस्तिष्कमा ताजा नै छ । गाडी त्यो क्षेत्रबाट जाँदै गर्दा सोच्छु–ओहो, धेरै नै पो हिँडिएछ त्यो बेला !

हामीले परार साल “इन्डिभिजुअल फिल्ड” का क्रममा सुन्तला किनेर खाएको ठाउँ शितलबजारमा गाडी रोकियो । ड्राइभर दाइले धेरै समय लगाए खाना खान । कुरिनटार अब बीस मिनेटमा पुगिन्छ पनि भने । खासै टाढाजस्तो त मलाई पनि लागेको थिएन त्यहाँबाट तर बीस मिनेट मात्र होला ? प्रश्न आयो मनमा ।

आधा घण्टा गाडी त्यहीँ रोकियो । अनि गुड्न थाले पछि बीस मिनेट घडीमा हेर्न थालेँ । समय मात्रै अघि बढ्यो । ठाउँ त आउँदैन त । अर्को बीस मिनेटमा पनि आइपुगेन । होइन, ड्राइभर दाइले त उसै भनेछन् । निकै टाढा रहेछ । शितलबजारबाट हिँडेको ठ्याक्कै एक घण्टामा कुरिनटार पुगियो । त्यसबीचमा थुप्रै ठाउँ देखियो । इच्छाकामना नेर पर पहाडबाट झरेको झरना देख्दा मन रमाएको थियो तर गाडीको बेगका कारण फोटो खिच्न चाहिँ सकिनँ ।

मनकामना केबलकार

मनकामना मन्दिरसम्म सजिलो गरि आवतजावत गराउने उद्देश्यले मनकामना केबलकार प्रा. लि. ईस्वी सम्बत् १९९९ देखि सञ्चालनमा आएको छ । कुरिनटार र मनकामनामा दुइटा स्टेसन छ्न् । बीचमा २० वटा टावरमा बाँधिएको तारको लट्ठामा गोन्डोला (कार) हरू समान दूरीमा झुन्डाइएका छन् । जम्मा ३६ वटा यात्रुबाहक र ३ वटा मालबाहक कारहरू छन् । तर मर्मतका लागि केही कारहरू छुट्टै राखिएका हुन्छन् । केबलकारबाट ओहोरदोहोर गर्न औसतमा दस मिनेट लाग्छ । काउन्टरमा तीनजनाको लागि ठुल्बाबाले टिकट लिनुभयो । हामी स्टेसनतर्फ लाग्यौं ।

केबलकार चढ्न मानिसहरूको लाइन । माथि बोर्डमा सुरक्षा निर्देशन ।

एनसेलले कुनै बेला पर्पल बनाइदिएको त्रिशुली पारिको बस्ती

मनकामना बजार

गोर्खा जिल्लाको मनकामना स्टेसनको गेटबाट बाहिरिने बित्तिकै मनकामना बजार देखिन्छ । दश वर्षअघि यो बजारमा खानाको व्यापार व्यापक थियो । अहिले पनि छ । तर अझ व्यापक भएछ, फोटोको व्यापार !

“फोटो खिचाउन यता आउनुस् (दाजु/दिदी/अंकल/आन्टी) ।”

“हाम्रोमा अरू पसलमा भन्दा सस्तो छ ।” रेट कति भनेर सोध्दा भित्र तानेर लान्छन् अनि थरीथरीका फ्रेम देखाउँछन् । चित्त बुझेन भने पनि सकेसम्म आफ्नोमा फोटो खिचाइदिन चाहन्छ्न् । खिचातानी चल्छ । रिसाउँछन्, गाली पनि गर्छन् । रमाइलो मानेकोले मात्रै तर फोटो खिचाउनु छैन भने त अत्ति नै हो नि !

बजारमा अग्लाअग्ला घरहरू छन् । छक्क पर्दै हेर्छौँ । बजारको अन्तिम मोडमा पुगेपछि देखिन्छ मन्दिर …

मनकामना मन्दिर

किंवदन्ती

गोर्खाका राजा राम शाहकी रानी महिमावती (जसलाई लीलावती वा चन्द्रमुखी पनि भनिन्थ्यो) सँग महाकाली, महालक्ष्मी र महासरस्वतीको शक्ति थियो । उनको शक्तिका कारण गोर्खामा जनताले न्यायको प्रत्याभूति गर्न पाए । उनको न्यायका कारण “न्याय नपाए गोर्खा जानू” भन्ने लोकोक्ति प्रख्यात हुन गयो । उनका भक्त लखन थापा मगर मात्र उनको दिव्य शक्तिका बारेमा जान्दथे ।”

एकदिन राजाले रानीलाई देवी स्वरूपमा देखे । उनले त्यो कुरा रानीलाई भनेको केही समयमा नै उनको मृत्यु भयो । तत्कालीन चलन अनुसार रानी सती जानुपर्ने भयो । लखन थापाले ठूलो बिस्मात् गरे । रानीले उनको घर नजिकै अवतरित हुने वाचा गरिन् ।

केही महिनापछि एउटा किसानले खेत खन्दै गर्दा हलो एउटा ढुङ्गामा ठोक्कियो । त्यो ढुङ्गाबाट दूध र रगत बहन थाल्यो । किसानले लखन थापालाई बोलयो । उनले त्यो ढुङ्गामा देवी अवतरण हुनुभयो भन्ने बुझे । तान्त्रिक शक्तिको प्रयोग गरेर उनले दूध र रगतको वहाव रोके अनि मनकामना देवीका रूपमा स्थाप्ना गरे । उनै लखन थापाका सन्तानहरू मनकामना मन्दिरका पुजारी रहन्छन् ।

वर्तमान

… त्यस दिन मनकामना मन्दिरको जुन स्वरूप देखियो, त्यो मैले कल्पना नै गरेको थिइनँ । पहिले देखेझैँ रातो रङ्गले रङ्गिएजो दुई तले मन्दिर देखिन्छ भन्ने लागेको थियो । तर देखियो गजुर र माथिल्लो तला झिकिएको, खट बाँधिएको, फुङ रङ उडेको एउटा संरचना !

२०७२ वैशाख १२ गते गोर्खा जिल्लाको बार्पाकलाई केन्द्रविन्दु बनाएर भुकम्प गएको थियो । त्यही बेला नै मनकामना मन्दिर भत्किएको थाहा पाइएको थियो । ठीक ६ महिना अघि मामुबाबा त्यहाँ जाँदा खट बाँधेको रहेछ भन्नुभएको थियो । तर मैले त्यहाँ मन्दिरको स्वरूप नै देखिनँ । शंका लाग्यो, मनकामना मन्दिर यही हो त ?

मनकामना मन्दिर । पुरानो स्वरूप जस्तापातामा टाँगिएको फ्लेक्समा । मान्छेले नगरी त भगवानले पनि आफ्नो घर बनाउन नसक्दा रहेछन् !

बजार र वरपरका संरचनामा भुकम्पको प्रभाव देखिँदैन । मन्दिर चाहिँ पुनर्निर्माण गर्न भन्दै भत्काइएको छ । चन्दा उठाइँदै छ । “मनकामना मन्दिरको र केबलकार कम्पनीको आम्दानीबाट नै मन्दिर बनाउन सम्भव छैन र ?” ठुल्बाबाको प्रश्न । “सरकारी सहयोग पनि कुरेर बसेका होलान् ।” मेरो तर्क । तर मन्दिर छिटो नबन्नु दुर्भाग्य नै हो ।
मन्दिर हेर्दाहेर्दै मनमा उठ्यो, “ढुङ्गाको मूर्तिमा भगवान मान्नु अनि संरक्षण गर्नु मानिसको कल्पना बाहेक केही होइन रैछ । शक्तिशाली भए त ढुङ्गाका भगवानले आफ्नो घर त जोगाउनु पर्ने । अनि आफ्नो घर आफैँ बनाउनु पर्ने । तर मान्छेको कल्पनाभन्दा माथी केही पनि छैन । मान्छेले नगरी त भगवानले पनि आफ्नो घर बनाउन नसक्दा रहेछन् !”

ढुङ्गाको मूर्तिमा देउता हुँदैनन् भन्ने मान्यता राख्ने मजस्ताका लागि यो निकै राम्रो प्रमाण हो । तर म खुसी हुन सकिनँ । मन्दिर र मूर्ती हाम्रा पुर्खाको कला र मिहिनेतका निशानी हुन् । मन्दिर बनाउन ढिलो गर्नु भनेको पुर्खाको उपहास हो ।

मूल मन्दिर छेउमा एउटा टहरो बनाएर “देवी”लाई राखिएको छ । मगर पुजारीका हातबाट म “बाहुनको छोरो”ले टीका थाप्छु । जातीयताको कुनै प्रश्न उठ्दैन । पछाडि रहेको गोरखनाथमा बेलपत्र चढाउछौँ । अनि दश-पन्ध्र मिनेटमा नै हामी मन्दिर प्राङ्गणबाट बजारमा आउँछौँ । बजार तीनचार पटक ओहोरदोहोर गरे पछि हामी स्टेसनमा फर्कियौं ।

मनाकामना स्टेसनमा केहीबेर लाइन बस्नुपर्यो । तर दुई बजे हामी तल्लो स्टेसनमा पुगिसकेका थियौं । तर काठमाडौं आउँदा नौबिसेमा जाम परेकाले अनि पानी पनि परेकाले नौ नबजी घर आइपुगिएन ।

The Mathematics of Love and Depression

By Sandeept

On February 20, 2017

In Blogging, Happiness, Humans and Humanity, Love

Love: exciting, interesting. Synonymous to happiness. A feeling everyone wants to embrace.

Depression: dull, gloomy. Antonymous to happiness. A feeling everyone wants to aver.
How are they related? I’ll try doing so using three expressions.

1. Love = Depression

Presenting love and lost love as a cause of depression is popular in literature, movies and music. Is love really a cause of depression?
About three months ago, I read ‘Monsoon’ by Subin Bhattarai. In the novel, Subhan falls in love with Monsoon and falls into depression (twice) when she goes away from her. Lost love is a cause of depression in the novel.
I remember reading Chetan Bhagat’s “2 States” about two years ago. The male character, Krish falls into depression when his lover Ananya leaves him. A depressed character, whose girlfriend has left him, also appears in Bhagat’s another novel “Revolution 2020”.
“Ghumti ma na aau hai” is a popular Nepali song from the movie “Kumari”. It is a song sung by a boy who is in love with a girl who had been made Kumari (living goddess) but can not express his feelings because of the society. He asks her not to come to meet him as they might be bound by ties of love and they may have to cry alone when separated.
A lot of people write poems (Ghazals, Muktaks, etc.) mostly saying that love is something that gives tears. They say, “If you can, avoid loving anyone.”

With this we come to our second expression:

2. Love < Depression

When depression takes over someone, love dies slowly. The feeling of “one-sided love” may not die. People may not be able to forget their lovers who left them. But should love be restricted between two people?

Movies and literature have popularized the concept of love between two people, mostly a young man and a young woman. And that’s where the problem arises. Two people think they are the only people who love each other. That’s why when one leaves, the other feels that love has ended.
Whenever love ends, depression overcomes.

Subhan in ‘Monsoon’ has a family and decent friends. When Monsoon leaves, he is depressed. He detaches himself from his family and friends. He does not talk to his parents, and not even to his grandfather with him he is closer. He is not happy with his friends.
In his depression, he kills his love towards his friends and family.

Now, it’s time I discuss the third expression.

3. Love > Depression

Can love overcome depression?
I believe that only love can overcome depression. If you understand that there are a lot of people who love you, depression can be overcome. Sometimes the love of a single person can make a difference. (Euta manchhe ko mayale kati farak pardachha jindagima.)

When Subhan’s grandfather and friends realize that he is depressed the first time, they pull him out of his dark shell. It takes long, but he is able to overcome depression. And this is the only portion I liked about the novel.

“Love all, serve all,” is one thing preached by Eastern philosophers. I believe it is the key to happiness.

Love at First Sight

By Sandeept

On January 27, 2016

In Blogging

Is love at first sight common amongst all? Where did the concept come from? What sort of personality often experience this phenomenon? My last year’s post on love at first sight.
http://khichadi-literature.blogspot.com/2015/02/love-at-first-sight.html

Life’s Lessons

By Sandeept

On January 20, 2016

In Blogging, Gratitude, Happiness, Humans and Humanity, Inspirational

यस्तो रहस्यमय जीवन बुझ्नलाई
जानु कहाँ ? पढ्नु के ? गुरु को बनाई ?
फुल्दो गुलाबबिच ज्ञान अनेक फुल्छन्
उद्यानमा बस गई सब तत्व खुल्छन् !
-लक्ष्मीप्रसाद देवकोटा

Where can we learn the secrets of our life? Laxmi Prasad Devkota asks and answers himself, “Go to the Garden and you will find all the answers.”

The Garden here means Nature. There is everything in Nature we can learn. Nature is an open museum. What we need the eyes that analyse the beauty of nature, and that explore the knowledge within Her womb.

One day, I had written, “You see what you want to see. And nothing else.” I have been aided on this by my Teacher’s words, “You see what you know.” There are many things that might have gone unnoticed around us, but other people from far off can be seeing the same thing from some other perspective. Interpretation of what you have seen is equally important.

Life runs in a weird way, and people act in even weirder ways. It’s life that can teach you about life. A closed room that supports internet might teach you many things but to have a firsthand experience, you have to step out. In the words of my friends, “A bird has wings so that it can fly, not confine itself to its nest.”

For the last fifteen days, I was close to the Nature. Call it a tour or an excursion or a camp, whatever it may be called, it was an experience of a lifetime. The Geological tour for B.Sc. 3rd year gave many unforgettable memories.

What could be better than the assemblage of people from all parts of the country at one place? So many cultures, traditions and ethnicities mixed up into one. There was no discrimination, only friendship and love. No one cared if you looked dirty. Everyone was the same. Nobody raised questions on the religion and the customs one followed. No one fought in the name of sex, caste and religion. There was one friendly existence of like-minded people- all devoted to learn the science of the Nature.

There were rows, there were quarrels, there was a fight- which we can never forget. But I am proud to say that it was not in the name of personal biases. The tension the fight caused was immeasurable but the peace that came up later was extraordinary. I personally thank both the boys who were expelled for fighting(sadly)- despite your untimely rage, you acted like men.

Life is not just about the flowering rose. Even with the rose, thorns show themselves up. The task we did was not easy. It was nothing but determination that made us walk almost ten kilometers a day, observing, learning and sweating. Some of us even risked our lives in the quest of knowledge. However the sleep that came up after the hardworking was the best ever. Congratulations to all who accepted the challenge! Keep it up and one day, you will all stand up as wonderful human beings.

The camp was frustrating at times. Hours of work and no approval! We spoke out the frustration to our friends. We worked together. No matter how many times our work was rejected, we worked on to make it better. When we finally came out at the end with the maps, graphs and the reports we had prepared, I remember the smiles we all had. We had finally shown the spirit that we never give up despite all the failures we might have had.

The tour was not only a chance to learn different cultures within the camp but also to know the lives of people around us. Shree Bageshowri H.S.S., where we stayed, showed an excellent example of hospitality. Little students gave up the comforts of their rooms so that we could take a rest in the evenings. The love the villagers showed us, wherever we went was incredible. Their selflessness moved me. Here in city, where people run for money, there they act as humans and believe in humanity.

What else did I learn? For the first time in my life, I studied my friends closely and found that they are not entirely perfect. They have flaws in one way or the other, but they are also the best as humans. And one important thing- teachers are just like us. They have had more experience than us, but they are students in their hearts. They too are not perfect. They too are learners paving paths for the new ones to come up and take up their places.

Finally, life is the only entity that can teach us lives. Thanks to Nature who has given me life and an opportunity to learn about it.

WHY NOT ME?

By Sandeept

On August 10, 2015

In Blogging, Blogging 101, Humans and Humanity, Inspirational

– Among millions of probable fusions, I became a zygote! WHY ME?

– Several thousands die during fetal stage, I survived! WHY ME?

– Thousands die at birth, I got a chance to see the world! WHY ME?

– Almost thousands bid farewell to the earth before they reach 1 year old, I greeted hello to my parents, relatives and friends! WHY ME?

– Hundreds of people die everyday, I have survived to face troubles! WHY ME?

How wonderful it would be if people thought about previous other questions before talking about the last one! When you are in a trouble, just remember that you have come in this world to do something for the world, not just yourself. If you do so, I BELIEVE, “WHY ME?” would CERTAINLY be “WHY NOT ME?”

Our Similarities within Our Differences

By Sandeept

On August 7, 2015

In Blogging, Happiness, Humans and Humanity, Similarities and Differences

There are more that 7 billion humans and each of us is unique. The difference begins from a small section of DNA- the molecule of life. Extremely minute variations distinguishes me from other people. These variation give me my genetic identification. My DNA is however, not much varied from yours. If it had varied even by 1%, I would have been an Orangutan, and a variation of 1.5% would have made be a Chimp. We are humans, the most interactive beings in the Earth. We might belong to different sexes, races, ethnicity and speak different languages but the word “Humans” makes us one.

We might follow the paths paved by different religious sects. I have been guided by the Hindu principles. Some of my friends have been guided by the Buddha, some by Christ and some by Mohammed. Some of them still worship the land on which they live and grow crops. There are still some who don’t believe upon God. Whatever faith they may have, they are my friends and I respect their choices. In fact these choices reflect the society in which they were born. The diversity of human societies is amazing and yet we all believe in one common goal- Happiness. Several paths have been suggested for us to obtain happiness and all of these include Love, Harmony, and Co-existence.

We might have different hobbies. We might have been doing the works of our hobby; some thinking of doing someday before they themselves perish. Some of us might be outspoken, while some may be introvert. Whatever we do, we seek for pleasure and that is what we live for.

At last,

Everything in this Universe is random. For the Earth to be in a habitable zone, for her to conceive billions of organisms out of carbon, hydrogen, oxygen and nitrogen were random events. The origin of humans was random. The life that we got is random. To create an order out of this randomness is within our capacities. No matter how different you are from me, we are heading to the same light of knowledge and recognizing similarities within our differences.